A BIGGER FISH (working title / excerpt)
Introduction: This story takes place nearly 40 years prior to the first cinematic episode. The adventure features the future Count Dooku and his apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn.
I began work on this project in March of 2017. About a year later, I realized the story had grown too large and was well on it's way to being a three to four hour epic... with ideas for both sequels and prequels. I decided to break the story into two parts, similar to what was done with The Hobbit or the last of the Harry Potter films. Part one of the story was completed December of 2018.
One of the things I did with this story - consciously and sub-consciously - was to repeat certain moments and motifs from the saga films. However, I alter them in such a way so they are not direct copycats of the original moments. For example, the excerpt below contains many of the same plot elements as the opening scene of the fourth cinematic episode; however, events do not play out in exactly the same way.
A Bigger Fish [working title]
A STAR WARS Story
Based on characters and situations created by George Lucas
Writer’s Note: This story takes place 37 years prior to Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
EXT. SPACE
The camera descends on a star-filled background. A small
orange moon can be seen in the far distance. Racing towards
the camera position is a stocky and heavily armored blockade
runner. The camera pans as the ship passes. The serenity
of the opening shot changes drastically as the camera
reveals a very heated battle between a large luxury
transport ship and dozens of smaller interceptors. The
armored blockade runner heads straight for large transport.
The luxury transport bears the registration Rhagesh III. It is the
personal transport of the HUK royal princess. The fighters escorting
her do what they can to protect her against the attacking
KALEESH fighters. But the Huk are clearly overwhelmed. A
Kaleesh boarding transport rams itself into the hull of the
Rhagesh III, joining two other boarding transports already clinging
like barnacles to the larger ship.
The armored blockade runner, a Huk cargo hauler with the
call sign Konga Due, dodges the fighting. Its singular
purpose now is to rescue the princess from the luxury
transport and get her to safety.
INT. KONGA DUE - BRIDGE
The bridge is dark and industrial in nature. It is evident
that the Konga Due is not intended for rescue missions and
certainly has never before been used for this purpose. Her
bridge crew of three are intent on their mission but there
is a certain degree of fear and uncertainty in their eyes.
The captain of the Konga Due is a woman in her
mid-40’s. The lines on her face are testimony to the
difficult life she’s led.
KONGA DUE CAPTAIN
Rhagesh III, this is transport
Konga Due. We are here to evacuate
the princess.
She presses a hand to an earpiece as the Admiral in command
of the Rhagesh III replies. His voice is raspy; almost as
if he is suffering from a bad cold.
ADMIRAL
(V.O.)
Acknowledged Konga Due. Dock at
port two. Fighter escorts will
cover you. Be advised, we have
been boarded. Say again, we have
been boarded.
KONGA DUE CAPTAIN
Acknowledged Rhagesh III.
The communications channel is closed but the captain says
one last thing; as much as to calm herself and her crew as
to bless the Rhagesh.
KONGA DUE CAPTAIN
(continued)
And may the Force be with you.
EXT. SPACE
The Konga Due picks and weaves through the battle and docks
with the much larger royal transport.
INT. RHAGESH III - HALLWAY
The hallways of the Rhagesh III are immaculate -
predominantly white with silver accents. However, chaos now
reigns on the ship. A group of troopers surround the Royal
Princess, so much so that she is hidden among
them. However, one slender body stands out among the group;
a long-neck Kaminoian, a scientist from the cloning
facilities of the planet Kamino.
They race down the hall towards the docking port.
HUK TROOPER 1
C’mon! Let’s go! Protect her
Royal Highness.
Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, heavily armed Huk
troopers run down a hallway. They turn a corner and
suddenly find themselves attacked by the advancing Kaleesh
battledroids. While the Huk hesitate and seek cover, the
droids continue to advance with a frightening and detached
calm. Approaching from behind the droids is their leader, a
Kaleesh warlord named GENERAL GRIEVOUS.
Standing just over 2 meters (6’ 9") tall, and clad in body
armor, Grievous is an imposing site. His facial features
resemble that of a gorilla but have a bizarrely reptilian
feel, with eyes like that of a cat. A clone of a
bloodthirsty tyrant, Grievous bursts through the line of
battledroids and advances upon the Huk troopers. He pulls a
mighty sword from his belt. Raising the it high for all to
see, he activates a switch and the sword suddenly becomes
electrified. The Huk troopers stare at him with fear in
their eyes. Their death is near.
HUK OFFICER
Shoot him you fools!
The Huk open fire on Grievous. The General moves with grace
and enough speed to avoid most of their shots, his battle
armor absorbs the few blaster bolts that he is unable to
avoid. He is upon the Huk troopers within moments. They
are dispatched in quick order.
[WRITER’S NOTE: General Grievous is not yet the cyborg
tyrant as depicted in Revenge of the Sith. His body is
currently whole and free of cybernetic enhancements]
Grievous stands over the last surviving trooper. The young
man has been disarmed and knocked to the ground. He holds
his hands up and pleads for mercy, practically in tears.
HUK TROOPER 2
Please. No!
Grievous’ weapon falls upon him.
One battledroid, with markings designating it as a squad
leader, approaches Grievous from behind. The droid’s voice
is cold and mechanical.
BATTLEDROID
General Grievous.
Grievous turns to face the droid. He is breathing heavily,
blood lust in his eyes.
BATTLEDROID
(continued)
A Huk transport ship has just
docked.
GRIEVOUS
Bah! These ones carry the crest of
the Princess’ personal guards. She
must be here.
The general begins to run down the hall.
GRIEVOUS
(continued)
Find her before she can escape!
The droids follow him. Their progress is soon halted when they
turn a corner and are faced with a sealed blast
door. Grievous bangs his fist on it and barks at his
droids.
GRIEVOUS
Get this blast door open! NOW!
One of the droids rips open a panel near the door. After a
few moments of tinkering, the door begins to open. Behind
the door stands a solitary Jedi Knight waiting for
them. His name is ELI ESTIYI (es-TEE-yee). He is a finely
groomed man in his mid 30’s. He bears a very focused and
intense face, yet is voice is calm.
ESTIYI
You will advance no further,
warlord.
Grievous chuckles lightly. This is exactly what he was
hoping for.
GRIEVOUS
Foolish Jedi.
Grievous activates his electro-sword and attacks
Estiyi. Grievous is strong, but Estiyi is more
skilled. The Jedi dodges the initial attack and then
ignites his lightsaber. Now on the offensive, Esityi fights
with a certain calmness and fluid action. Eventually, he is
able to cut off one of Grievous’ arms. The General howls in
pain and drops to his knees.
Estiyi points his lightsaber at his defeated
opponent. Knowing Grievous will not surrender, Estiyi
raises his lightsaber with the intent of destroying
him. However, the Jedi Knight is attacked from his blind
side by GENERAL ABHORRENT - a clone, identical to Grievous.
Estiyi turns at the last moment, protecting himself from
Abhorrent’s attack. The Jedi battles with his new
opponent. Grievous reaches down to his dismembered arm. He
removes the sword from his own hand, then stands and rejoins
the fighting.
Faced with two powerful Kaleesh warlords, Estiyi’s actions
are now much less calm and fluid.
GRIEVOUS
He is stalling us! The princess
will escape.
Estiyi kicks Abhorrent, knocking the general to the
ground. Grievous presses his attack, but his body is now
unbalanced and clumsy. For a moment, it seems like the Jedi
has gained an advantage. A powerful swing from Grievous
misses the Jedi. Grievous slips, again falling to one
knee. As he falls, Abhorrent emerges from behind his clone
brother. The Jedi is unable to protect himself in time as
Abhorrent’s sword removes the Estiyi's head from his
shoulders.
INT. RHAGESH III - DOCKING PORT
The entourage protecting the Princess reaches port where the
Konga Due is docked. One Konga Due crew member stands at
the entryway, encouraging them on.
INT. KONGA DUE - ENTRY PORT
The Princess and her bodyguards enter the rescue ship. The
boarding hatch is sealed shortly after the last of the
escapees is on board. One crew member speaks into a wired
mic with a hot line to the bridge.
CREW MEMBER
They’re here! Ship secure.
INT. KONGA DUE - BRIDGE
The crew member’s report is heard over the speakers.
CREW MEMBER
(V.O. Continued)
Let’s go! Let’s go!
KONGA DUE CAPTAIN
Copy that.
The captain reaches for the release on the docking clamp and
yanks on the control.
EXT. SPACE
The Konga Due uncouples from the Rhagesh III and accelerates
away. A swarm of droid fighters chase after it. The Huk
fighters which had been protecting the Rhagesh III now
ignore the luxury ship and protect the smaller transport.
INT. RHAGESH III - DOCKING PORT
Grievous and Abhorrent reach the docking port too
late. They are greeted by a sealed hatch.
GRIEVOUS
Damn!
Grievous slams his good fist into the docking hatch, leaving
it dented.
Abhorrent lifts his left wrist and speaks into a
communicator. While he and Grievous are clones, their
voices are slightly different.
ABHORRENT
Vicious, they have escaped us.
EXT. SPACE
A distinguished Kaleesh interceptor leads the swarm
following after the Konga Due.
INT. INTERCEPTOR
The pilot is another clone brother, GENERAL VICIOUS.
ABHORRENT
(V.O. Continued)
They are heading for you.
VICIOUS
I have her. She will not escape.
Vicious lines up the Kongs Due in his targeting sites.
EXT. SPACE
Vicious’ interceptor fires on the Konga Due, damaging the
engines of the transport ship.
INT. KONGA DUE - BRIDGE
The crew does what they can to evade the Kaleesh
fighters. However, they are slow and lumbering compared to
their attackers and they have no weapons to defend
themselves.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Engines hit! Hull integrity
dropping.
KONGA DUE CAPTAIN
How soon before you can make the
jump to light speed?
The pilot fights with his controls for a few seconds.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Jumping now.
EXT. SPACE
The Konga Due begins to streak into light speed when
something suddenly explodes in one of its engines. Their
attempt to jump to light speed fails. The ship skips
several hundred thousand miles beyond its previous position
and safely away from the Kaleesh fighters attacking it.
A lesser ship would have exploded from the resulting damage,
but the sturdy Konga Due remains in one piece. Nonetheless,
it has sustained crippling and irreparable damage; like a
beast of burden with a broken back.
INT. KONGA DUE - BRIDGE
Numerous klaxons blare as the bridge crew fight to keep the
ship from ripping itself apart.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Massive rupture in the starboard
engine! Hyperdrive is down. Core
condition reaching critical.
He pauses for a moment waiting for the captain to give
orders. No orders are given.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Captain?
The pilot turns to see that the captain has been killed,
impaled by debris that hit her during the failed jump. The
pilot is momentarily horrified and looks at his co-pilot who
is also stunned. The pilot snaps out of it and assumes
command.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Ejecting drive core. We’ll have to
set down with emergency thrusters.
They look out the forward view port. A gray planet with
wispy white clouds dominates the view.
The pilot grabs a microphone and speaks into it, not knowing
if the communication system is even working.
KONGA DUE PILOT
All hands, assume crash
positions. Say again, all hands
assume crash positions.
The pilot drops the mic and yells to his co-pilot.
KONGA DUE PILOT
Do we have any working escape pods?
The co-pilot checks a read out on one of his controls.
KONGA DUE CO-PILOT
Ah... One.
KONGA DUE PILOT
You’d better make sure the Princess
is in it.
The co-pilot hesitates for a moment and then gets up from
his station. With some effort, he exits the bridge.
EXT. ODDCORE - UPPER ATMOSPHERE
The Konga Due heads into the atmosphere of a moon called
ODDCORE. It begins to shake as the atmosphere becomes
thicker. The heat build up causes the hull to glow and tail of fire forms behind it.
EXT. ODDCORE - SKY
The ship is soon engulfed in fire as it streaks through the
atmosphere. Once the ship is low enough, an escape pod
shoots away from it.
The Konga Due eventually strikes the surfaces of the
planet. It is a very hard crash. The ship skids to a halt,
leaving a mile-long black scar on the surface of a gravely
plain.
The camera holds on the image of the crashed ship and the
smoke bellowing from it.
CUT TO:
EXT. SPACE
All is now calm around the Rhagesh III. It floats in space,
surrounded by debris, listing slightly to one side.
Vicious’ fighter and his escorts head towards it.
INT. RHAGESH III - BRIDGE
The blast door to the bridge opens. Abhorrent helps the
wounded Grievous inside.
Upon the bridge is their fourth and final clone
brother, GENERAL MERCILESS. Merciless has killed the entire
bridge crew. His hands are now around the Admiral’s throat,
holding him off the ground. The Admiral has enough breath
in him for one final insult.
ADMIRAL
You... Kaleesh... scu...
The Admiral dies before he can complete the
insult. Merciless throws his body against the bulkhead.
Merciless turns and looks at Grievous and then to Abhorrent.
MERCILESS
Congratulations on your kill,
brothers. I understand you bested
a Jedi Master.
GRIEVOUS
Yes, indeed.
Grievous holds up his remaining arm and reveals Estiyi’s
lightsaber in his hand. He chuckles lightly, savoring the
trophy.
ABHORRENT
What about the Princess?
Merciless growls lightly. General Vicious enters the
bridge. He has an air of confidence about him.
VICIOUS
She did not get far, thanks to me.
Merciless is still for a moment. Suddenly, he grabs Vicious
and slams him against the bulkhead, nearly crushing an
unfortunate battledroid which had been standing behind
Vicious.
MERCILESS
You fool! The Supreme Leader wants
the royal family alive. If the
Princess contacts the Senate-
Vicious fights back, breaking his brother’s grip.
VICIOUS
What does it matter?
A COMMAND DROID steps forward. It is larger and more
advanced in design than the standard battle droids employed
by the Kaleesh.
COMMAND DROID
Given the damage done to their
ship, there is a two-point-nine
percent chance they survived.
Vicious looks at the droid and is tempted to crush its
robotic head with his bare hands. Instead the general bites
his tongue.
VICIOUS
Well, there you have it.
He looks at the droid and orders.
VICIOUS
(continued)
Commander, calculate every possible
destination on their last
trajectory. I’ll lead the search
party myself.
MERCILESS
No. I’ll go. You’ll just screw it
up again.
GRIEVOUS
I’m going too.
MERCILESS
No, brother Grievous. Not until
you are healed. Abhorrent, send a
report to the Supreme Leader. The
blockade is in position. We have
control of the system.
He turns and looks out the view port to the small red moon
outside.
MERCILESS
(continued)
The crystal moon us ours for the
taking. We need it as fuel to
power the ultimate weapon.
Merciless walks out of the bridge, leaving his three
brothers behind. After a moment, Vicious makes an
observation to no one in particular.
VICIOUS
Who put him in command?
More to come... Maybe...
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