REVISED SCENES
REVISED REVENGE OF THE SITH SCENES​
Aspiring athletes will often mimic the workouts of their idols and influences. Aspiring chefs will try to add their own twist to an existing recipe. I like to perform a similar exercise as a writer and re-write movie scenes. The practice is to add a different "flavor" to the dialogue and action within the scene. However, the scene must start and end in the same place (...ergo, no changes are made to the overall plot of the story).
Below are some scenes from the third cinematic episode (...the one where the SITH get REVENGE) that I originally re-wrote in 2014. Please note, these scenes were not re-written because I disliked the film. I am not, by any means, a prequel basher. Again, this was an exercise in writing scenes with alternate dialogue... and I had a lot of fun with it!
Revised Scene 1: Chancellor Palpatine Returns to the Senate / Anakin and Padmé Reunite
Revised Scene 2: Anakin and Padmé at Home (aka The Balcony Scene)
Revised Scene 3: Yoda Escapes Kashyyyk
Revised Scene 4: Obi-Wan and Yoda Return to the Jedi Temple
REVISED SCENE 1: Chancellor Palpatine Returns to the Senate / Anakin and Padmé Reunite
Introduction: I believe my original motivation in revising this scene was to incorporate an awards ceremony that echoes the end of the fourth cinematic episode. Where the ceremony in that film signals the arrival of Luke Skywalker as a hero, the award ceremony in my revision is Anakin Skywalker's pinnacle moment as a hero. Anakin's downfall begins after this scene.
The scene below takes place immediately following the rescue of Chancellor Palpatine, the crash landing of the Separatist flagship and Obi-Wan Kenobi saying: "Another happy landing" (approximately 23:40 into the film).
EXT. CORUSCANT - SENATE BUILDING, LANDING PLATFORM
The SHUTTLE carrying ANAKIN, OBI-WAN and PALPATINE lands at the SENATE BUILDING. A delegation of select members of the Senate wait to greet them, led by MACE WINDU, Jedi Master and the Commanding General of the Grand Army of the Republic. MACE is PALPATINE’S chief military advisor — however, his advice is often ignored and his relationship with PALPATINE is quite strained.
ANAKIN helps PALPATINE disembark from the SHUTTLE. MACE is the first to step forward and address PALPATINE.
MACE
Chancellor, are you all right?
PALPATINE
I am fine, thanks to your two Jedi. Count
Dooku is dead; slain by our Anakin here.
PALPATINE places a hand on ANAKIN’S shoulder. ANAKIN’S expression is pride. MACE clenches his teeth and swallows hard as he is upset to hear that DOOKU, a former Jedi and friend, has been killed.
PALPATINE
(continued)
But I'm afraid General Grievous has escaped
again. I can assure you the war will not end
until he has been brought to justice.
MACE
Then we must make finding Grievous our top
priority.
PALPATINE dismisses himself, turns his nose up slightly, and walks past MACE.
PALPATINE
If you'll excuse me, master Jedi, I have a
Republic to address.
MACE watches as PALPATINE walks to the entrance of the senate building. The assembly of senators part before PALPATINE and then obediently follow behind. One of PALPATINE’S AIDS walks along side, holding a DATA PAD so PALPATINE can see it.
AID
Your Honor, your speech details are outlined
here. The Jedi will enter after you say...
(tapers off)
OBI-WAN and ANAKIN lag behind and speak with SENATOR BAIL ORGANA as they make their way inside.
MACE, frustrated, sighs and looks up into the sky.
INT. SENATE BUILDING - CONTINUING
ORGANA
I'm relieved to see you both, my friends.
Good work.
ANAKIN
Well, it was Obi-Wan's plan.
OBI-WAN
Yes, well... Anakin is the real hero. He
killed Dooku and rescued the Chancellor
all while carrying me unconscious on his back.
ANAKIN
There's no need to thank me for saving your
life for the tenth time.
OBI-WAN
(correcting him)
Ninth time. That business on Cato Nemoidia
doesn't... doesn't count.
ORGANA chuckles at the comment. ANAKIN stops smiling and pauses. ANAKIN looks to his left, down a corridor of columns. ANAKIN smiles again as his heart begins to race.
ANAKIN
Will you excuse me?
ANAKIN begins walking down the corridor of columns with a bit of spring in his step.
OBI-WAN
Anakin...
ANAKIN looks back at OBI-WAN and holds up his hand reassuringly.
ANAKIN
Don't worry, I won't let you face all those
terrifying Senators by yourself.
OBI-WAN watches ANAKIN continue on.
OBI-WAN
(under his breath)
You'd better not.
ORGANA leads OBI-WAN on to their destination.
INT. SENATE BUILDING - CORRIDOR OF COLUMNS - CONTINUING
ANAKIN continues down the hall. From behind one of the columns emerges SENATOR PADMÉ AMIDALA; ANAKIN’S wife by way of a secret marriage. PADMÉ’S eyes reflect the emotions of fear, relief and joy welling up inside of her. PADMÉ rushes to ANAKIN and they embrace, kissing and holding each other close.
PADMÉ
There were rumors. Whispers you had been
killed.
ANAKIN releases the embrace. He looks at his wife, touches her face and smiles.
ANAKIN
I'm all right. But if the Chancellor
hadn't been captured, I don't know if they
would've ever brought me home from the Outer
Rim sieges.
ANAKIN leans in for another, more passionate, kiss. PADMÉ backs away.
PADMÉ
No. Not here.
ANAKIN
Why not? I'm tired of all this hiding.
Keeping our marriage a secret.
ANAKIN notices something about PADMÉ’S demeanor.
ANAKIN (continued)
You're trembling. What's wrong?
PADMÉ pauses a moment before answering, searching for the right words.
PADMÉ
Anakin... something wonderful has happened.
PADMÉ takes a step back from ANAKIN but continues holding on to his hands.
PADMÉ
(continued)
I'm pregnant.
ANAKIN inhales. Overcome with emotion, ANAKIN doesn't know what to say.
ANAKIN
(smiling)
That's... That's wonderful news.
PADMÉ
But Anakin, the Jedi. The Senate. What
about-?
ANAKIN pulls PADMÉ into his arms again.
ANAKIN
Let's not worry about any of that right now.
This is a happy moment. The happiest of my
life.
ANAKIN puts his hands on either side of PADMÉ’S face and kisses her reassuringly. From behind them approaches C-3PO, PADMÉ’S protocol droid who, as usual, interrupts during a private moment.
C-3PO
Master Anakin, it's time for you to, ah...
ANAKIN calls over his shoulder without taking his eyes off PADMÉ.
ANAKIN
I'll be right there 3PO.
(to PADMÉ)
I love you. And I'll do anything to keep
you and our baby safe.
They slowly separate from each other. ANAKIN walks away, passing C-3PO in the process. C-3PO isn't sure if he should stay with PADMÉ or follow ANAKIN. After a moment of characteristic indecisiveness, C-3PO follows after ANAKIN, leaving PADMÉ to herself.
​
INT. SENATE BUILDING - ROTUNDA - CONTINUING
ANAKIN steps through a doorway and into a docked podium inside of the dimly lit SENATE CHAMBER. OBI-WAN and some other officials are waiting as PALPATINE addresses the senate from the PODIUM in the middle of the arena.
PALPATINE
(continuing)
And so to you, the citizens and senators of
this great and free democracy, I ask you
all to rise and join me in recognizing Anakin
Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi: Heroes of the
Republic!
OBI-WAN leans over to ANAKIN.
OBI-WAN
Just in time. I was afraid you had gotten
lost.
The PODIUM containing ANAKIN and OBI-WAN detaches from its dock and floats to PALPATINE’S podium. The assembly cheers wildly as both Jedi are presented with medals by the Supreme Chancellor.
REVISED SCENE 2: Anakin and Padmé at Home (aka The Balcony Scene)
Introduction: Let's face facts, the dialogue in this scene is clunky. So much so, I received complaints about it. My goal in revising this scene was to make the dialogue more natural.
This scene takes place approximately 29:25 into the film.
INT. PADMÉ'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
PADMÉ stands out on the balcony, overlooking the calm and peaceful city. PADMÉ is brushing her hair in preparation for bed. ANAKIN sits on a sofa inside the apartment; quietly admiring his wife. PADMÉ’S grace and beauty are a welcome sight after endless months of war.
PADMÉ takes notice of ANAKIN watching her and smiles.
PADMÉ
I've been thinking. I'd like to have the
baby back on Naboo. There are some secluded
places in the Lake Country where no one will
find us.
As PADMÉ speaks, ANAKIN stands and walks over to the balcony, his eyes fixated on her.
PADMÉ
(continuing)
I can go there early and... Why are you
looking at me like that?
ANAKIN
You look so beautiful.
PADMÉ gives ANAKIN "the look."
PADMÉ
I'm too tired to look beautiful. And I'm
too worried about the baby to sleep. There
are plenty of people who could use this child
against us. This stupid war has brought so
much chaos, so much death.
ANAKIN
Don't think that way. Think of this baby as
something worth fighting for; a new hope for
the future. Besides, with your brains and my
good looks, our baby will probably be
Chancellor someday.
PADMÉ chuckles at the joke and shakes her head. PADMÉ looks at ANAKIN and smiles.
PADMÉ
That's probably true.
REVISED SCENE 3: Yoda Escapes Kashyyyk
Introduction: In the film, there was very little drama to Yoda's escape from Kashyyyk. It's possible that the scene as filmed was the victim of budget constraints. As a writer, I'm not constrained by production budgets and try to get as much as I can out of every scene.
The scenes below take place around the 1:25:45 mark of the film and were written to strike a similar tone to the Millennium Falcon's escape from Bespin in The Empire Strikes Back.
EXT. KASHYYYK - GREAT TREE - LANDING PLATFORM; LATE EVENING
YODA, CHEWBACCA and TARFFUL have battled their way to a landing platform high up on one of the gigantic Wookiee tree cities. A TRANSPORT SHIP sits idle on the landing platform; their last means of escape. CLONE TROOPERS follow behind, shooting at them. YODA and the WOOKIEES enter the ship.
INT. TRANSPORT SHIP - COCKPIT
CHEWBACCA and TARFFUL man the controls of the ship and power it up. YODA jumps into a nearby passenger seat which is clearly much too large for his body frame.
YODA
Away we must go.
The TRANSPORT SHIP begins to whine.
EXT. KASHYYYK - GREAT TREE - LANDING PLATFORM
The TRANSPORT SHIP lifts off from the landing platform. CLONE TROOPERS continue to shoot at the TRANSPORT SHIP as it rises up into the sky and accelerates away.
- LATER -
EXT. SPACE - NEAR KASHYYYK
A REPUBLIC STAR DESTROYER chases the TRANSPORT SHIP as it speeds away from the planet KASHYYYK. The REPUBLIC STAR DESTROYER fires on the smaller TRANSPORT SHIP, hitting it in the rear quarter.
INT. TRANSPORT SHIP - COCKPIT
Sparks fly from a panel above CHEWBACCA, who growls and raises his hands over his head in frustration. CHEWBACCA does not sound pleased. YODA understands the situation and considers his options.
YODA
If disabled the hyperdrive is, back to
Kashyyyk you must go. Away from me, lead
them.
TARFFUL says something to YODA in the Wookiee language. YODA nods.
YODA
Agree with your plan, I do.
(or)
With your plan, agree I do.
YODA hops down from his seat. Both CHEWBACCA and TARFFUL look back at YODA and offer their blessings, in one form or another.
YODA
Goodbye Tarfful. Goodbye Chewbacca. Remember
you, I will.
YODA walks out of the bridge and reaches an escape pod.
EXT. SPACE - NEAR KASHYYYK
As the TRANSPORT SHIP arcs back towards KASHYYYK, several ESCAPE PODS shoot away from it.
​
INT. REPUBLIC STAR DESTROYER - BRIDGE
Two CLONES are at a duty station on the bridge, monitoring the chase. The CLONES are identical except for their rank insignia.
CLONE SPECIALIST
Sir, they’re launching escape pods.
The second CLONE, a commander, scans the escape pods one by one for life readings. He fails to scan them all.
CLONE COMMANDER
Scans are negative. They’re just jettisoning
extra weight. Stay on the ship.
INT. ESCAPE POD
YODA watches out a small porthole as the REPUBLIC STAR DESTROYER turns to follow the TRANSPORT SHIP. With nothing else to do, YODA inhales, closes his eyes and begins to meditate.
WRITER'S NOTE: While not shown on screen, the Wookiee ship would be captured by the Star Destroyer. Chewbacca would remain enslaved until freed by Han Solo on Mimban.
REVISED SCENE 4: Obi-Wan and Yoda Return to the Jedi Temple
Introduction: As with the other scenes, the goal here was to make Yoda and Obi-Wan's arrival at the Jedi Temple a little more dramatic and action oriented.
These scenes take place around the 1:31:40 mark of the film.
INT. TANTIVE IV - HALLWAY OUTSIDE AIRLOCK
SENATOR ORGANA and CAPTAIN ANTILLES lead YODA and OBI-WAN to an airlock. ANTILLES keys a control to open the inner airlock door. YODA and OBI-WAN pass through the doorway. ANTILLES hands a jetpack to OBI-WAN - which is a little heavier than OBI-WAN was expecting.
ORGANA
Our approach to the senate building will
take us past the Jedi Temple. Are you sure
about this? The temple was crawling with
clones last night.
OBI-WAN slings the jetpack over his shoulders and straps into the harness.
OBI-WAN
Thank you for your help Senator. We'll
manage.
ORGANA
If there is anything I can do to help, please
contact me.
OBI-WAN lowers a pair of goggles over his eyes as ANTILLES keys the controls to the airlock doors. A bright yellow inner door closes with a thud; sealing OBI-WAN and YODA in the airlock.
EXT. CORUSCANT - SKY
The TANTIVE IV passes through a clear blue sky, high above the camera position. There is a percussive booming noise and soon OBI-WAN drops from the ship. OBI-WAN zooms past the camera position which pans to show the JEDI TEMPLE straight ahead of him.
OBI-WAN
There's a whole damned garrison guarding the
temple!
YODA is strapped to OBI-WAN’S chest. YODA’S ears flap in the wind and he appears uncomfortable.
YODA
On the observation balcony, land.
​
EXT. JEDI TEMPLE - OBSERVATION BALCONY
OBI-WAN lands on a balcony high up on one of the temple spires. YODA detaches from OBI-WAN and hops to the ground. OBI-WAN wriggles out of the jetpack but is fixated on the CLONE TROOPERS far below them.
OBI-WAN
Those are Anakin's troops.
YODA
In we must go.
YODA climbs up on OBI-WAN’S back, as they enter the temple.
INT. JEDI TEMPLE - INNER PLAZA
OBI-WAN and YODA enter the inner plaza of the temple and come across a number of dead Jedi. OBI-WAN kneels down near a body and YODA dismounts from OBI-WAN. They are both saddened by the sight.
OBI-WAN
Not even the younglings were spared.
OBI-WAN closes the eyes of a dead Jedi child. YODA points his walking stick at another body.
YODA
This padawan, not killed by Clones was he.
But by lightsaber.
OBI-WAN rises to his feet.
OBI-WAN
But who? Who could have done this?
YODA
(crestfallen)
Search your feelings.
OBI-WAN is aghast at the thought.
OBI-WAN
No. He couldn't have. It's impossible.
They hear something in the distance. OBI-WAN looks across the plaza to see a patrol of CLONE TROOPERS several levels below them.
YODA
To the code signal we must go.
YODA again climbs up on OBI-WAN’S back. They take off down a hallway.
INT. JEDI TEMPLE - HALLWAY - CONTINUING
OBI-WAN and YODA round the corner and find a PLATOON of CLONE TROOPERS standing between them and their destination. The LEAD CLONE jumps to attention.
CLONE
Jedi! Blast 'em!
YODA and OBI-WAN activate their LIGHTSABERS. A fight ensues and the CLONE TROOPERS are quickly cut down; the Jedi fighting with a certain amount of brutality. With all of the CLONE TROOPERS killed, YODA and OBI-WAN proceed into the communications center.